However, my admission this time is proof that sometimes, even when you're doing everything right, CF still can get the best of you. No matter how many treatments or hours spent exercising, admissions and exacerbations are inevitable. That's CF.
It seems unfair, it can be frustrating, but it is what it is.
I'm going in with a smile! I'm like Forrest Griffin after he takes a beating in round 1, standing in his corner smiling at his opponent. As if to say, "Yea you got that round, but I'm coming for ya now!" Makes me think of the Disciple song "Game On." So, touché CF, touché. After some IV antibiotics and a couple weeks of intense treatments I'll be back where I was and hopefully higher. My goal is still 70%. I know I can see 70% again, maybe higher. I was getting close. In may of this year I was at 66% after almost a year of rising PFT's! My FEV1 this time is 56%.
This time is different. Usually when I need an admission or antibiotic pills it's because I had a bad sinus cold that turned into a chest cold and caused a drop in my PFT's. This time feels more like a true CF exacerbation. I don't have any cold symptoms. My PFT's are just down.
I knew this was coming. Most of us do. I have my own red flags.
1. When I lay down at night and I cough a bunch as soon as I lay down. Normally I lay down and go to bed without coughing any. When I'm gettin sick I cough a lot when I lay down for a couple minutes.
2. I cough a lot more all the time. I always cough, but when I'm sick I cough more. People who are around me start to notice my increased coughing too.
3. I get winded doing things that shouldn't cause me to get winded. Such as carrying the laundry upstairs, going up a couple flights of stairs at work, and when I exercise having to take breaks or go at a much slower pace.
4. I am grumpy and irritable. Unfortunately my wife notices this one the most. I get complainy (if that's a word). I become a "negative Nancy" whining about work, people driving, and other insignificant stuff.
5. I am more tired. Usually I'm up for hanging out later with friends and doing stuff in the evening. I don't want to spend my life being a fuddy-dud. I want to enjoy every moment! When I'm sick, I never want to do anything. All I think about is staying home and relaxing.
So, I'll be spending the next few days to week in the hospital getting my IV's and taking treatments. Then I'll be at home finishing them up. Ideally I would like to stay in the hospital the entire two weeks or however long it takes. While I'm here I'm forced to focus on my health. When I'm home there are a million distractions that prevent me from taking 4 treatments a day and focusing on my health. With the boys now, it would be very hard on Monica to be home alone for 2 weeks. Granted she'll have help, but it's not the same. So, We agreed that I should probably spend a week in. My CF team usually only wants me to stay for 2-3 days and then go home. They're reasoning is that I'm at risk for catching another "bug" while I'm in here. It's a very valid point. However, I'm here 40 hours a week when I work. I'm already highly at risk. I think the benefit of 4 hand clap treatments and no distractions outweighs the risk of getting more sick. We shall see! I'm not good at being outspoken and expressing my concerns. It's something I'm working on.
I'll be posting updates and hopefully some videos (the boys will most likely be in them :))
Thanks for reading to long-winded post!
View from my room on the 13th floor